The Labyrinth

The centre is so close --
the barrier between us
a mere hint of
fragile iridescence.
One more step,
and I'll have reached my goal,
won the prize,
victory at last.

But somehow,
you draw me gently
onto a new path,
winding into mystery.
Though I seem to
leave you behind,
you are
close as my heart
as I wander
from spiral to spiral
discovering myself and you.

Random Factors

ME: Who writes the scripts?

ABBA: It's a collaboration.

ME: Isn't that pretty messy?

ABBA: Life is messy.

ME: But it doesn't have to be!
You have the power
to control it all.
Why allow chaos and evil?

ABBA: A game with no
random factors
is no fun.

ME: A game?!
Is that all it is to you?

ABBA: Yes and no.
What really matters is
how you think about it.

ME: How I think?
Does it matter?
What input do I have?

ABBA: More than you know.

Liberation 101

I don't feel so desperately
lonely any more.
Could it be
the emptiness
is being filled?

Could it be
I'm reaching out
and finding
nourishment?

Could it be . . . ?

No need to be on stage
full time
full throttle
convincing
others
I'm OK.

Dear God,
let this be
more than a phase.

KALEIDOSCOPE

Experience's shattered shards
regrouping and reflecting
patterns unending . . .

Seek, search,
never cling
to truths I find:
my trembling fingertips
grope light years from
the Mystery.

At loss for words

It feels so strange

to have nothing to say.

A lifetime of hunting,

and here I am,

waiting.

Ego expectations

have vanished;

no words

seem appropriate.

I chatter on, of course --

that's my habit.

I don't know

what would happen

if

I

fell

into

silence.

Disappointment

Lord, I want to relinquish
my fear of disappointment --
or rather, my fear of the disaster
that will overtake me
if someone else is disappointed,
particularly if the source
of the disappointment
is me.

ABBA: Isn't that the root
of your problem with Me?

ME: Lord, You know.

ABBA: Explore.
I'm not going to do all the work for you.

ME: Okay. Here goes.
If someone acts destructively
as a result of disappointment in me,
then I am responsible for that person's action.
That might be arguable
when dealing with people,
but with You --
how could I hold You accountable for Your own actions?

ABBA: You don't have to.
I hold Myself accountable.

ME: There's the problem, isn't it?
Job's problem.
You make the rules.
There's no way to take You to court.
You are judge, jury and executioner,
and make all the laws.

ABBA: And that is precisely why
people have imagined such evil things about me.
They can't trust anyone with that much power --
they think it MUST be evil.

ME: And yet, we crave it for ourselves,
thinking that it will keep us safe.

Self-Importance

ABBA:
As you suspected,
you are nothing
in the great scheme of things.
Only love can give you importance.
Beyond that,
the universe would be better off
without you.

ME:
The universe would be
better off
without me?
Are the burdens I carry
delusions?

ABBA: Your responsibility is to be My child.

ME: For the sake of argument,
let's imagine I understand.
What happens next?

ABBA: Break down the walls
you have built for yourself.
Breathe fresh air.
Enjoy what I offer.
The best is yet to come.

Don't place a bet unless you own the casino

Blessed are they
who invest themselves in love;
woe to those
who wager self-worth
on outcomes.

We plant seeds
and nurture them:
what grows
is not ours to decide.

Our own bodies
re-create themselves

as they will,
disregarding our orders.

How much more will our hearts
and spirits
burst the barriers
of all we can ask or imagine?

Self-will is an

uninformed gardener;
let it slumber
while we wait in breathless wonder
for love's first flower to open.