Disappointment

Lord, I want to relinquish
my fear of disappointment --
or rather, my fear of the disaster
that will overtake me
if someone else is disappointed,
particularly if the source
of the disappointment
is me.

ABBA: Isn't that the root
of your problem with Me?

ME: Lord, You know.

ABBA: Explore.
I'm not going to do all the work for you.

ME: Okay. Here goes.
If someone acts destructively
as a result of disappointment in me,
then I am responsible for that person's action.
That might be arguable
when dealing with people,
but with You --
how could I hold You accountable for Your own actions?

ABBA: You don't have to.
I hold Myself accountable.

ME: There's the problem, isn't it?
Job's problem.
You make the rules.
There's no way to take You to court.
You are judge, jury and executioner,
and make all the laws.

ABBA: And that is precisely why
people have imagined such evil things about me.
They can't trust anyone with that much power --
they think it MUST be evil.

ME: And yet, we crave it for ourselves,
thinking that it will keep us safe.