Buzz Words

I've dutifully memorized
the holy buzz words.

If they don't work for me,
am I going to hell?

What if
I had to watch
my family being murdered,
and then endure
gang rape
by jeering soldiers?

Would I see the human
desperate pain
in their hard eyes?
Could I love them
in God's name?
Could I believe
in love at all?
Where would God
be in all this?

If I falter,
God is still God.
If I turn away,
God's love is the same.
It's not up to me
to keep the
galaxies in order.
I can't even add
a millimetre
to my stature.

It's not up to me.
I don't like that,
but it's all I have.