What Would it Take to Be A Loser?

So here I am,

full stop.



I've been busy.

It's all there.

I've studied,

analyzed,

quantified,

mystified,

herded all my ducks 

into neat rows.

All for nothing.


I know what I think I want to believe,

but I don't believe it.

I know what I think I want to feel,

but I don't feel it.

I can explain it to you,

I can even preach about it,

but it's not me.



I can't own the answers.

It's a matter of 

living the questions.

That's not what I expected,

but that's how it is.