Defending my Vision of God

I've been too busy defending my vision of God
to listen to anyone else.
Am I really still that insecure?

ABBA: No, you're not. It's just a bad habit.

ME: I tell others over and over again,
"Listen with your heart."
Does that mean, under the varnish,
"Become like me"?

ABBA: You imagine unity means
that people will eventually agree with you.
They imagine the same thing.

ME: What's underneath that
is my fear of losing You.

ABBA: You can't lose Me
any more than you can lose your soul.

ME: It feels like Your existence depends
on my ability to perceive You.

ABBA: That's the root of all bad theology.

ME: I thought I was so tolerant!

ABBA: Anything but.
You are the ultimate bigot,
holier-than-thou.

ME: Because I'm afraid of becoming like "them".
I don't even know who "they" are.

ABBA: Do you honestly think
I would let that happen to you,
my precious child?

ME: So -- I don't think you are
an abusive parent, just a neglectful one.
Someone who will get distracted
with some intergalactic event
and leave me to fend on my own.
Please forgive me --
I want to repent,
but right now I feel too scared.